Russell Howard

Salah seorang pelawak UK yang ak sedang ikuti buat masa ini ialah Russell Howard; dilahirkan pada 23 March 1980 dan mempunyai latarbelakang pendidikan yang agak mantap kerana mempunyai degree dalam bidang ekonomi.. Memulakan kerjaya bersama BBC Radio 1 pada tahun 2004, Russell mula menempah nama dalam bidang komedi apabila memenangi 2005 Edinburgh Festival Fringe untuk kategori "Best Comedy Talent"  .. Beliau juga mempunyai rancangan radio sendiri iaitu Russell Howard's Good News; ala The Colbert Report dalam Comedy Channel.. Video dibawah merupakan sedutan daripada arena tour beliau, Right Here Right Now yang laku seperti pisang goreng.. Serius pecah perut bila dia buat lawak tentang Justin Bieber.. ENJOY! 

Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa

Sekalung penghargaan dan syabas buat KRU kerana berjaya mengadaptasikan sebuah karya klasik ke layar perak dengan begitu canggih dan terbaeek~ Filem Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa nih membuatkan ak teringin giler nk layan kt wayang namun apakan daya, sehingga kini masih lom diketahui akan ditayang di Jpon atau tidak; kalau ya ak sanggup tengok sekali lagi dengan mengajak rakan2 Jpon layan sama.. Selama nih kita hanya belajar mengenai sejarah negara melalui buku teks sedangkan sejarah negara luar dah banyak diadaptasikan ke layar perak.. Citer pasal Hang Tuah dah berzaman sangat; mungkin lepas nih akan ada citer pasal ahli ke-6 dan ke-7 dalam Pahlawan Melayu Melaka ke.. Korang mesti tau nyer kan sape??

Eh, tak tau?

Hang Tanya, Hang Bodo.. 

wakaka~

Lawak nih dibuat oleh ummi beberapa tahun yang lepas..

Sampai sangat masih ingat sebab pertama kali kene "bodo" ngan mak sendiri (笑)

p/s Teringin nk baca novel dia.. mane nk dapat ek?

Comedy Central Roast

Roast merupakan salah sebuah rancangan Comedy Central (CC) yang agak unik kerana mengaplikasikan 100% kebebasan bersuara di US ntk memaki orang.. Mula disiarkan sejak tahun 2003, sehingga kini rancangan nih sudah memasuki episod ke 11 kerana boleh kata setahun sekali jer rancangan nih disiarkan.. Di kendalikan oleh seorang hos, setiap episod, seseorang akan dipanggil ntk duduk diatas pentas dan bersedia menerima kata-kata keji daripada beberapa tetamu undangan~ Yang menariknya, tetamu tersebut akan maki sesama mereka ketika melakukan ucapan sebelum memaki orang "yang diraikan"~ Di akhir rancangan, orang yang diraikan tersebut akan diberi peluang ntk "membalas dendam" dengan memaki tetamu2 undangan.. Mungkin rancangan lawak seperti nih wajar dilaksanakan di negara kita kerana ahli2 politik gemar memilih jalan kotor daripada berdepan dengan rakyat -_-" Berikut merupakan sedutan video Roast yang ak minat~ 

Karam Singh Walia

Karam Singh Walia merupakan seorang wartawan alam sekitar dan berkhidmat dengan syarikat penyiaran TV3.. Beliau merupakan lulusan daripada UPM dan University of London dan pernah menjadi guru ganti di sekolah menengah.. Ramai yang mengenali beliau di kaca televisyen kerana beliau mempunyai karakter yang menarik antaranye sering mengangkat tangan kiri ketika membuat liputan dan mengakhiri nyer dengan peribahasa.. Konon nyer beliau memiliki sebuah buku yang mengandungi lebih 4300 peribahasa Melayu dan beliau sering membawa buku tersebut ke mana2.. Berikut merupakan senarai peribahasa beliau yang telah direkodkan;

1.   Ke mana tumpahnya kuah, kalau tidak ke bawah.

2.   Tak lapuk dek hujan, tak lekang macam rambutan.

3.   Tiada rotan, pelempang berguna juga.

4.   Biar lambat, asalkan tak cepat.

5.   Biar putih tulang, jangan kuning gigi.

6.   Di mana ada gula, di situ adalah gula-gula.

7.   Kalah jadi abu, menang jadi arang, seri jadi abu bakar.

8.   Carik-carik bulu ayam, lama-lama jadi shuttlecock.

9.   Secupak takkan jadi 18 cupak.

10. Gajah mati meninggalkan gading, udang harimau mati meninggalkan kulit, 

      manusia mati meninggal dunia.

11. Sedangkan lidah lagi tergigit, inikan pula makanan di dalam mulut.

12. Harapkan pagar, pagar tidak boleh diharap.

13. Alang-alang mandi, biar guna sabun.

14. Berapa berat mata memandang, berat lagi seguni beras.

15. Cubit paha kanan, paha kiri tak rasa apa-apa pun.

16. Diam-diam ubi berisi, diam-diam orang bisu.

17. Hidup segan, mati di tanam.

18. Ikut hati mati, ikut rasa merasa.

19. Lembu punya susu cap teko dapat nama.

20. Sehari selambar benang, lama-lama benang habis.

21. Jika kail panjang sejengkal, beli le yang panjang sikit kalau nak ngail di laut.

     (beli la pukat tunda lagi baik)

22. Hendak seribu daya, tak hendak tak apa.

23. Membujur lalu melintang pukang.

24. Hujan emas di negeri orang, hujan batu di negeri sendiri, lebih baik hari tak hujan.

25. Sebab pulut santan binasa, sebab mulut habis pulut.

26. Kecil-kecil cili padi, kecil lagi biji cili.

27. Kalau sudi katakan sudi, kalau tak sudi boleh blah !!

copied from link

Maz Jobrani

Antara 芸能人 (Performer) yang ak segani ialah Maz Jobrani yang berasal daripada Iran tetapi membesar di US.. Maz mempunyai ijazah sarjana dalam bidang sains politik dan hampir menamatkan PhD sebelum mengubah keputusan ntk menjadi seorang pelawak.. Turut-serta dalam "Axis Of Evil" iaitu kumpulan yang terdiri daripada 4 orang pelawak daripada Asia tengah termasuklah Ahmed Ahmed, Aron Kader, dan Dean Obeidallah.. Lawak Maz menyentuh kepada bangsa selain suka buat lawak tentang bangsa dia sendiri.. Maz mempunyai pandangan yang tersendiri mengenai cara2 mengurangkan gejala "Islamophobia" di negara yg dia duduki kini dan ternyata usaha dia wajar diberikan pujian.. Menolak tawaran berlakon sebagai pengganas dalam filem atau drama kerana tidak mahu menyimbah minyak ke dalam api yang membara; Maz bertuah kerana memiliki rancangan dia sendiri dalam sitkom saluran ABC, Funny in Farsi.. Bagi yang ingin mengenal Maz dengan lebih lanjut, boleh layan video di bawah~ Enjoy! 

p/s Pernah gak terfikir kalo dah bosan jadi jurutera nanti, nak masuk dunia hiburan sebagai pelawak... (笑)

Band's Name..

Bands often have unusual names and here are the origins of some popular bands both past and present. One thing that you will discover if you look into this area is that RUMORS abound! If we cannot confirm an origin, we have given alternatives found in other sources. Some entries contain links to useful band information.

ABBA - Abba is "father" in Hebrew but the band claims that to be unintentional - rather it is an acronym for the first names of the band members: Agnetha, Björn, Benny and Anni-Frid (Frida).

AC/DC - 1) It is said that one of the band member saw it on an appliance and thought it had something to do with power. (It does mean "alternating current / direct current".) The band used it not realizing it was also slang for a bisexual- the band claims NOT to be bisexual.
2) In the vogue of other anti-everything bands it stands for Against Christ/Devil's Children.

ALICE IN CHAINS - a funny rumor is that they were named after a lost episode from The Brady Bunch series!

AMBOY DUKES - Ted Nugent's original band - taken from the title of a 1940's book about street gangs by Irving Shulman.

ANTHRAX - A dangerous bacteria that used to infect many cattle in Europe & could be used for terrorism.

ASPHALT BALLET - The name came from a motorcycle accident Julius was in where the motion of the bike rolling over on the asphalt road was termed an "Asphalt Ballet."

AQUA - suggested by a Danish AQUArium poster that was hanging in their recording studio.

BIG BAD VOODOO DADDY - this neo-swing band takes its name from what legendary bluesman Albert King wrote as an autograph for the band's leader, Scotty Morris... "To the big bad voodoo daddy."

B-52's - The beehive hairstyle popular in the 1950's (worn by band members) was called a B-52 after a type of large US Air Force bomber plane with that designation.

BACKSTREET BOYS - The Backstreet Market was a store in Florida where the guys used to hang out.

BAD COMPANY - A 1972 modern cowboy movie starring Jeff Bridges.

BAD ENGLISH - One day the band members were playing pool and thinking about a name for the band. John Waite went to take a shot and missed. Someone made a comment on how bad his "English" was - English referring to the spin you put on a ball according to where on the ball your stick hits.

BEASTIE BOYS - According to Michael Diamond, BEASTIE stands for Boys Entering Anarchistic Stages Towards Internal Excellence.

THE BEATLES - 1) original member Stuart Sutcliffe came up with THE BEETLES , as a play on Buddy Holly's group THE CRICKETS who they loved. They were using the name THE QUARRYMEN and sometimes THE SILVER BEETLES - later it became THE BEATLES emphasizing the BEAT aspect of music (and poetry?). 2) Lennon lists the influence of the film "The Wild One", which featured a motorcycle gang called the Beetles (unconfirmed). John Lennon is generally credited with combining Beetles and Beat to come up with THE BEATLES spelling. Lennon was also fond of saying he had a vision as a child of a flaming pie in the sky that said "You are Beatles with an "A"

JOHN CAFFERTY and the BEAVER BROWN BAND - Did the classic soundtrack to the movie Eddie and the Cruisers. The band from the Cranston Rhode Island area was practicing in one of the band member's garages when they saw a Dutch Boy paint can that was called Beaver Brown.

THE BEE GEES - The 60's soft-rockers now best known for disco. "Saturday Night Fever" - some say the BG comes from "Brothers Gibb" since they were brothers named Gibb... however an article on the group suggests that they used the names of 2 friends that helped them get started: Bill Goode and a DJ named Bill Gates... I'll go with the first version.

BELLE and SEBASTIAN - Was a French T.V. series in the early seventies about a little boy and his dog, a Saint Bernard named Belle. Belle was put to sleep after she injured another child.

THE BLACK CROWES - It was originally named Mr. Crowe's Garden, after a favorite children's book. They sang under that name until they signed with Def American Records in 1989. They renamed themselves at the suggestion of a producer.

BLACK SABBATH - From a 1960's cheap horror movie starring Boris Karloff , suggesting a holy day of witchcraft.

BLACK UHURU - Uhuru is Swahili for freedom, therefore "Black Freedom".

BLIND MELON - Slang for an out-of-work hippie (Weren't they all?) - they were called that by Shannon H's dad - also recalls an old blues singer, Blind Lemon - Melon being an anagram for Lemon.

BLINK 182 - Blink 182 supposedly has NO meaning at all but the band fosters stories on origins. Sample: used to be just "Blink" but was threatened by a lawsuit from a little known Irish band with the same name, so they added the 182 which is the number of times the f-word was said in one of the members favorite movies.

THE BLOODHOUND GANG - Was a segment on the PBS kid's show 3-2-1 Contact! in the 80's about 3 kids who were detectives, solving mysteries and fighting crime and such.

BLOTTO - source: http://www.blotto.net/ - "Blotto actually began as the Star Spangled Washboard Band, a bluegrass combo with plenty of country corn. With their live show, " Radar Beans " and tracks like "I Get a Charge Out of You" and the medley "The Battle of New Orleans / Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavor," the Washboard Band received enough acclaim to appear twice on the televised Mike Douglas Show. Then the group folded. Four alumni from the Washboard Band continued their musical careers by performing monthly at the Saratoga club "17 Maple Avenue". They later added a bass player, a drummer and a female vocalist, and renamed their band Blotto, after the dog in the 1930's novel Nightlife of the Gods." 2) the word is also slang for being totally drunk.

BLUE CHEER - 60's nickname for high-quality LSD, and coincidentally a brand of laundry detergent (the band used the detergent idea on their album cover with "New, Improved, Blue Cheer" - surprised they didn't get sued for it.

BON JOVI - From the New Jersey bandleader Jon Bon Jovi, whose real name is John Bongiovi, Jr.

BOOKER T. & THE M.G.'S - Booker T. led the band and M.G. stands for Memphis Group not the once-popular car.

DAVID BOWIE - Born David Jones, he changed his name to avoid confusion with David (Davy) Jones of THE MONKEES.

BUCK CHERRY - Possibly a goof on the often heard speaking disorder wherein the speaker will interchange the first letter{s} in two successive words i.e. "I have just received a Blushing Crow
{crushing blow} Metallica uses such a device in their album entitled "Cunning Stunts." Buck Cherry would then equal Chuck Berry, famous classic rocker.

CHERRY POPPIN' DADDIES - The leader of this modern big band, Steve Perry, says it comes from an old R&B record and that it "sounded sexy."

WENDY / WALTER CARLOS - Walter Carlos was a synthesizer composer who had a big hit with "Switched on Bach", after getting a sex change operation, he became she and goes under the name Wendy. http://www.wendycarlos.com/

CASSANDRA COMPLEX - An allusion to Greek mythology; Cassandra had the gift of prophecy with the curse of no one ever believing her

CHEAP TRICK - They say the band members asked a Ouija Board what they should call themselves.

CHICAGO - Their first album was released as "Chicago Transit Authority", but the city of Chicago sued them because Chicago Transit Authority is the name of Chicago's public transportation department so they shortened it. Don't record companies check these things before they release them?

CHUBBY CHECKER - The host of American Bandstand (once the most popular American music TV show) Dick Clark's wife thought up the name as a take off on singer Fats Domino. Chubby "invented" the dance called "the twist"

CHUMBAWAMBA - In a band member's dream, he didn't know which door to use in a public toilet because the signs said "Chumba" and "Wamba" instead of "Men" and "Women"

COLLECTIVE SOUL - A term used in the popular novel "The Fountainhead", by Ayn Rand.

COLOR ME BADD - Sam Watters said the name was an attempt to remove racial, sexual and musical overtones - "If you want to color us as anything, color us as badd." Originally called TAKE 1 (but another group was using the name), Jon Bon Jovi asked them to open a Bon Jovi / Skid Row concert with "Daddy's Home" sung a capella. Jon said, "You guys think you're pretty bad. Let's see how bad you are in front of 15,000 people."

COUNTING CROWS - Comes from old English nursery rhyme which had to do with predicting the future from the numbers of birds seen. Originally the rhyme was about magpies, but as people came over to America, crows were used instead. From the song "A Murder of One" one of the versions of the rhyme goes "one for sorrow, two for joy, three for girls, four for boys, five for
silver, six for gold, seven for a secret never to be told..." Adam Duritz liked the rhyme...

THE CRANBERRIES - Originally called Cranberries Saw Us ( a joke on Cranberries SAUCE) they changed it to the shorter form later.

CREED - This popular Florida band was named after former bassist Brian Marshall's
earlier band Mattox Creed. www.creednet.com

THE CULT - Goth/Rock band 'The Cult' were once known as 'The Sudden Death Cult', then
shortened to 'Death Cult', then finally just 'The Cult'.

DEF LEPPARD - Joe Elliot, lead singer, wanted to use the idea provided by the band Led Zeppelin's logo and transformed what he originally had as deaf leopard.

THE DEFTONES - Because when they started out, people thought they were so bad
that they called them tone deaf - transposed to def tones.

DEPECHE MODE - From the name of a fashion magazine, meaning hurry up fashion

DMX - Dark Man X

THE DOORS - Jim Morrison read poet William Blake who said "if the doors of perception are cleansed, everything would appear to man as it truly is, infinite. "He was also influenced by author Aldous Huxley who referred to the same line when he titled his book on drug experimentation The Doors of Perception. "There are things known and things unknown and in between are the doors" Official Doors web site is at http://www.thedoors.com/

DURAN DURAN - named after a character in the Jane Fonda movie Barbarella.

BOB DYLAN - His real name is Robert Zimmerman - he liked the poet Dylan Thomas.

DYNAMITE HACK- A line in the movie Caddyshack describing marijuana.

THE EAGLES - originally called TEEN KING AND THE EMERGENCIES , they liked the American sound of Eagles and the way it was aligned with THE BYRDS who had a great influence on them.

ELTON JOHN - Real name: Reginald Dwight. Created from two other British musicians: Elton Dean and Long John Baldry.

EMINEM - From his real name Marshall Mathers he took M&M and rewrote it phonetically as Eminem.

EVERCLEAR - Named after the "Everclear" brand of 190 proof grain alcohol used to make dangerous alcoholic drinks.

EVERYTHING BUT THE GIRL - From an ad for a British clothing store that would sell you "Everything but the Girl" that you saw in the ad.

EVE 6 - A phrase they heard in an X FILES episode.

FOO FIGHTERS - A term used by World War II pilots to describe strange flying fireballs they sometimes saw.

FLEETWOOD MAC - A simple one. They just took the last name of drummer Mick Fleetwood and a form of bassist John McVie's last name.

FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE - The name of a garden center on Route 46 in Wayne, New Jersey. http://home.earthlink.net/~johncw/fow/html/gen_info.html

GARBAGE - Either lead singer Shirley Manson's father yelled down to the band at one of their basement practice sessions, "Play more quietly - you sound like garbage." or from a friend of Butch Vig (the drummer of Garbage), who said "This stuff sounds like garbage!" check their site at http://www.garbage.com/

GENESIS - The first book in the Bible - their first album's title was "From Genesis to Revelation"

GODSMACK - The metal band "Godsmack" was much thought to be named after the Alice in
Chains song of the same name. But according to the band they arrived at the name after one band member made a particularly inappropriate comment and another remarked "God will smack you for that one". Hence forth one would receive a "Godsmack" for bad behavior.

GOO GOO DOLLS - Used to be called the Sex Maggots, and when they were told that local newspapers wouldn't print that name, Jonny Rzeznik picked up a magazine from the early 60's with an ad for a doll that cried Goo Goo when you turned it upside down.

GOLDFINGER - After the James Bond movie.

GREEN DAY - 1) It may have come from the sci-fi movie Soylent Green when they said "Tuesday is soylent green day." Soylent green was a food produced by a corporation to feed the way overpopulated masses; turns out they were also making it from the masses! 2) Another story is that when they dropped out of school to be musicians, their principal said "It'll be a green day in hell before you make anything of yourselves". 3) Some say that in drug slang - if you smoked pot and goofed off all day, it was a "Green Day."

GUNS 'N' ROSES - Originally two bands L.A. GUNNS and HOLLYWOOD ROSES. Hollywood Roses was headed by Axl Rose, Tracii Guns headed the other band which also featured Slash. The two frequented clubs and played there and were friends.

JANE"S ADDICTION - The band got it's name from a girl (Jane) that Perry Farrell knew back in L.A who was a prostitute and called it her addiction.

KING MISSILE - is a popular Japanese comic book character.

KISS - According to Paul Stanley, Kiss just sounded dangerous (kiss of death) and sexy at the same time. Kiss denies the rumors that the name stands for "Kids In Service of Satan" or the saying "Keep It Simple Stupid."

KORN - There are many stories as to how the name originated, however the most believable is that Korn starts with Kern County which is where Jonathan worked as a Coroner. From that came "KoRn". It was then decided that it would be written like a child would write it, hence the K
instead of a C, and the backwards R.

LED ZEPPELIN - Jimmy Page was drinking with Moon and Entwhistle, who were bitching about their band mates Daltrey and Townshend. They joked about the two of them starting a band with Jimmy, and one of them said "Yeah, that will go over like a lead balloon". When Jimmy formed his own band, he remembered this and thought "Lead Zeppelin" would be good, both from that conversation and the heavy/light contradiction similar to the band named IRON BUTTERFLY. They decided to drop the "a" so Americans wouldn't mispronounce it.

LEVEL 42 - 1) From the supercomputer in the great & hilarious novel The Restaurant at the end of the Universe, (part of the "The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy" series) computed the meaning of life to be 42 2) Also a possible reference to a sign in the strange film Brazil that says "Level 41".

LIMP BIZKIT - Got the idea from Fred Durst's dog Biscuit who has a limp.

LL COOL J - for "Ladies Love Cool James".

MARCY PLAYGROUND - Frontman John Wozniak would look out the window of his third grade classroom and see that playground and wish he could play there - but he didn't because there were bullies there that would beat him up... must have been traumatic.

MEGADETH - Dave Mustane was inspired by a government pamphlet he saw after leaving METALLICA. A Megadeath is a military term for one million dead (making World War II an 80 Megadeath)

MELVINS - You give someone a melvin by approaching from behind, and yanking up on the waistband of their underwear as hard as you can (also popularized on SEINFELD as a "wedgie" A "Melvin" was also a nerd synonym.

METALLICA - Lars Ulrich was helping a friend think of a name for a metal fanzine. The choices were Metal Mania and Metallica. Metal Mania was chosen for the magazine & he used Metallica for his band.

MISFITS - A 1961 movie starring Clarke Gable and Marilyn Monroe.

MOTORHEAD - British slang for a drug user who uses a lot of speed

NIRVANA - In Buddhism it means the state of perfect blessedness attained through the annihilation of the self.

'NSYNC - Justin's mother came up with the name. N is the last letter in Justin, S is the last letter in Chris, Y is the last letter in Joey. N is actually from James Lance Bass because Chris gave him the nickname 'Lansten'. Since Lance doesn't end with a N, they used his nick name,
Lansten. C is from J.C. That's how they came up with 'NSYNC. (info from T.J. Gernon, Illinois & Andrea in San Diego) The whole thing is, of course, a play on In Sync - a term which comes from the movie industry - meaning when the picture & soundtrack are properly aligned or synchronized.

NO DOUBT - A favorite phrase of John Spence, it became the name of the band prior to his suicide.

NOBODY'S ANGELS - Inspired by the U.S, TV series and later film Charlie's Angels.

OASIS - Local British origins: a Manchester cab company, a chain of women's clothing stores, a local Indian restaurant and more likely a local club that The Beatles played in during their early years (the band are avowed Beatles fans)

OUR LADY PEACE - The band took their unusual name from a 1943 poem by American poet Mark Van Doren. link to information

PANTERA - Spanish for Panther and also a pretty cool car.

PEARL JAM - 1) Eddie's grandma supposedly made a peyote (hallucinogenic drug) jelly/jam , which as kids they called pearl jam. 2) I've heard a couple of times that "Pearl Jam" comes from NBA player Mookie Blaylock -- it's his nickname. Band members Stone Gossard and Jeff Ament
were huge fans of Blaylock, loved his peculiar name and wished to just call their band "Mookie Blaylock" but Blaylock protested, so they used his nickname "Pearl Jam" instead.

PINK FLOYD - Taken from the names of two Georgia bluesmen Pink Anderson and Floyd Council - from the early days when the band saw itself as a blues band.

RADIOHEAD - Named after a Talking Heads' song called "Radio Head."

RAMONES - Paul McCartney used to call himself Paul Ramone. The Ramones all use the last name Ramone even though it's not their given name.

R.E.M. - In the study of dreams, the abbreviation refers to rapid eye movement or that time during sleep when an observable movement of the eyeball occurs indicating that the person is in a dream state. Band member Michael Stipe has said that this is not why the band picked the name.

THE ROLLING STONES - From the Howlin' Wolf blues song "Rolling Stone" - Keith Richards was a fan of the version recorded by Muddy Waters.

SAVAGE GARDEN - A phrase from an Anne Rice novel "Interview With The Vampire"

SILVERCHAIR - 1) The Silver Chair is one of the titles in C.S. Lewis' "Chronicles of Narnia" in which Prince Rilian of Narnia is held captive under the spell of the witch who killed his mother.
During brief moments of returning sanity he is restrained in a silver chair. He is rescued when two children magically transported from earth, and a dour resident of Narnia find him and destroy the chair thereby lifting the curse. 2) A combination of "Sliver" by Nirvana and "Berlin Chair" by You Am I. They were requesting the songs from a radio station and the name was inspired by notes a band member made to himself to remember the song titles while he was calling the station. * Original name of band: Innocent Criminals.

SMASH MOUTH - Football players use this slang term in any game with a lot of blocking or tackling.

THIRD EYE BLIND - Our third eye is the imagined one that gives us a kind of sixth sense (telepathy, ESP, etc.) and the band felt that most of us are blind in that sense. There is also a symbolic third eye (all knowing eye) that appears on the back of a U.S. dollar bill.

TLC - Nicknames of band members: Tionne "T-Boz" Watkins, Lisa "Left Eye" Lopez and Rozonda is "Chilli" Actually Crystal was going to be the C of TLC, but when they auditioned for Laface, an exec didn't like Crystal's voice, so they replaced her with "Chilli". TLC was going to originally stand for Tionne, Left Eye and Crystal. The idea of "Tender Loving Care" must have worked for them too.

311 - "One of P-Nut's friends (Jim Watson) was arrested, cuffed (naked) and taken home to his parents. He was issued a citation for a code 311 (indecent exposure). We thought this was funny, so we took it as our band name. After the humor of the name wore off - we still kept it because we liked that it was just abstract and that it did not define us in anyway. The name did not describe our sound or our politics, it just let the music speak for itself. Since most interviewers always ask us "What does 311 mean?", we have come up with lots of different answers over the years. Some include.... Nick - "five friends making music", Tim - "a number dictated to me by a higher intelligence", P-Nut - "knowing a little numerology and studying a little magic, which I do; in some factions, three is man and 11 is magic. So 311 is like male magic." from their official site http://www.311music.com

U2 - Three possibilities: 1) A type of spy plane used by the United States in the 1960's - made famous when Gary Powers' U2 plane was shot down over Russia and he was taken as a
prisoner during the Cold War. 2) U2 as in "you too" referring to the audience and its role in the musical experience 3) a U2 is an unemployment form in Ireland (see UB40)

UB40 - Code number of a form people in Britain have to fill out to receive public assistance or welfare. Known in the UK as a signing-off form when you get a job. Hence the title of their first album Signing Off.

VAN HALEN - after Alex and Eddie Van Halen - suggested by David Lee Roth as being better than their original name "Mammoth." They might have been called 'Daddy Longlegs' if Gene Simmons of KISS had gotten his way - he partially financed and produced one of their original demo records and suggested names and artwork.

WEEZER - Band member Rivers Cuomo had the nickname Weezer in school because of a breathing problem.

WINGS - Paul McCartney's band - 1) in the Paul/Beatles song "Blackbird" you'll hear "Take these broken wings and learn to fly" which is what he did in his next album - a solo effort. 2) When Linda McCartney was giving birth to their daughter Stella, Paul was pacing around hoping everything was going well and he was praying and started thinking of angels and wings. Wings just stuck in his mind.

copied from forum

some jokes that I recently read~

1. Losing all your friends

Man comes home and finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend and kills him.
Wife says 'If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends.'

2. Brother wanted

A small boy wrote to Santa Claus,'send me a brother'....
Santa wrote back, 'SEND ME YOUR MOTHER'....

3. Meaning of WIFE

Husband asks, 'Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It means 'Without Information Fighting Everytime'!'
Wife replies, 'No, it means 'With Idiot For Ever'!!!'

4. Importance of a period

Teacher: 'Do you know the importance of a period?'
Kid: 'Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one,
my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away.'

5. Confident vs. confidential

A young boy asks his Dad,
'What is the difference between confident and confidential? '
Dad says , 'You are my son, I'm confident about that.
Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential! '

6. Anger management?

Husband: 'When I get mad at you, you never fight back.
How do you control your anger?'
Wife: 'I clean the toilet.'
Husband: 'How does that help?'
Wife: 'I use your toothbrush ..'

Teksi Jepun

source : link

Though Japan is one of the safest countries to live in, taxi drivers with cash are often a tempting target for anyone desperate enough to try and rob them. One Osaka based taxi company is installing an anti crime device in each taxi to discourage would be robbers.

Once the driver hits an alert button, the horn starts blowing (this is a attention grabber as the Japanese rarely use their horns), a light above the rear view mirror comes on and shines into the back seat, an SOS signal is sent to the dispatch center and the roof light begins to blink red.

All this may have the desired effect and luckily there is very little violent crime in Japan. Not sure how this would play somewhere like New York if the robber had a gun.

####################################################

Perkhidmatan teksi di Jepun memang patut di puji kerana setiap wang yg di habiskan adalah berbaloi dengan servis yg diberikan oleh pemandu.. harga memang mahal, lebih mahal daripada perkhidmatan teksi di Malaysia, tp wajar dengan kos hidup di sini yang agak tinggi. Tiada caj yg dikenekan sewaktu kita call minta datang amik dsb.. malah waktu nak naik x perlu nak ingatkan pemandu teksi supaya pasang meter.. (笑) Ini memudahkan penumpang ntk berinteraksi dengan pemandu teksi kerana kita percaya pada meter dan pemandu teksi x akan menaikkan harga x tentu pasal seperti yg berlaku di Malaysia.. (cerita berdasarkan pengalaman penulis.. huhu)

Sistem sekuriti setiap teksi memang lebih kurang same.. penumpang x yah buka pintu pon xpe sebab pintu di kawal oleh pemandu teksi.. begitu juga waktu nak kluar, dah bayar baru pintu dibuka.. pemandu teksi semestinya berpakaian uniform khas skali dengan sarung tangan dan bertopi.. macam bawak keter limo plak, so penumpang leh berbangga naik teksi yg dipandu oleh pemandu 'pro' (笑).. fesyen keter pon lebih kurang sama jer mane2 tempat cumer kaler jer yg berlainan skit.. kebiasaannya yg ak nampak setakat ni ialah hitam dan putih.. ~ *sigh* bila la sistem teksi di Malaysia nak berubah ke lebih positif.. malu plak bila ade pelancung yg guna perkhidmatan teksi di negara sendiri rase x selesa sbg.. tp ade pelancung yg memang patut kene= (笑)

「Satu hari...seorang pemandu teksi warga tempatan membawa seorang pelancong jepun ke airport...dalam perjalanan, sebuah kereta toyota camry memotong teksi berkenaan..

orang jepun:look look...toyota..made in japan..very fast,very good.....

tiba tiba...sebuah lagi kerata honda civic memotong teksi berkenaan..lalu orang jepun pun berkata....

orang jepun:look look...honda made in japan..very fast,very good..

pemandu teksi itu hanya berdiam diri sahaja..setiba nya di airport...

pemandu teksi: RM20 sir...

orang jepun:wah expensive...cheat cheat......

pemandu teksi: no no..look look made in japan very fast,very good...sambil menunjuk kan..meter teksi buatan jepun itu...」

jom main SMS

Basket is raga..
wood is kayu..
bila i terjaga..
i terus ingat kat u..

this is kulit kerang..
wood is kayu..
i cakap terus terang..
i miss giler kat u..

--------------------------------------------------------

pantun melayu :

~henpon mahal poliponik berkumandang

~kreditnya banyak gunanya kurang

~kalu stakat nak miscal orang

~huh, hentak kat tiang campak jer kat longkang!!!

--------------------------------------------------------

wajahmu nan resah dan mata yang berair, sudah cukup menggambarkan derita yang kau hadapi.. tak sanggup lagi aku lihat kau mengasingkan diri di bilik sepi



bersabar la..










berak keras memang sengsara.. hehehehe

--------------------------------------------------------

Sy suke sgt care awk... .

Berbudi bahasa... ..

jujur bila bercakap... ... .

senyuman manis... .

renungan yg mendalam... ...

sye suke sgt...

tapi... ..


Eh.., ni no sape ??
Ya allah, salah send. sori..

--------------------------------------------------------

ngat tak kali pertama kite berjumpa

masa tu hujan turun...

krete bhenti... . kat traffic light...

awk berdiri di tepi tingkap... .

saya buka tingkap dan awk berkata...

"minta sedekah ncik... ... "

awk ingat tak? ke dah lupa..


--------------------------------------------------------

Jika anda trima
mesej ini..
(A) Balas jka anda
TIGA SUKU

(B)Miss call jika
SEWEL
(C)Call jika anda
BIOL

(D)Jgn buat ape
jika anda MERENG
sila buat pilihan

--------------------------------------------------------

When
you get
this SMS

----------
send it to
1 person
u hate

----------

1 person
u wish to kill

----------

1 person
annoying

----------
Now, keep
guessing why
I sent it to u.

--------------------------------------------------------

Kalau
awk
baca
sms ni
----------
awk
utang
sy
1 pelukan
----------

kalau
padam

----------

utang 1
ciuman

----------

kalau
smpan

----------

utang 1
cinta

----------

kalau
jawab

----------

utang
semua

----------

kalau x
jwb

----------
awk,
sy punye..
he3x...

--------------------------------------------------------

Msg ini utkmu

Baca lepas 1 hari

jgn bc lagi

degilnyer..

wei! baca esok

tpulanglah!

aku dah kata
jangan MONYET
jangan..hahahah

--------------------------------------------------------


janji yer..
cinta kita abadi..
i bunga u tangkai nyer
i matahari u bulan nyer
i rumah u atap nyer
i tarzan u monyet nyer
janji ye nyet..ye nyet...

--------------------------------------------------------


cinta
ini
ibarat
kentut
----------

semakin
dipendam

----------

semakin
gelisah

----------
tapi,
apabile
dilepaskan..

----------

arrrrhhhh..
lega rasenye..


------------------------------------------------------
ONNE..

RENDE..

MUNE..

NALHE..

ANJHE..

ARHE..

YELHE..

YETTHE..

OMBOTHE..

PATHE..

Pandainyaaa..anak keling saper la ni!..hehhe..

------------------------------------------------------


(")-(")_.-""-.,/
:'_ _ '; -._, )._
(o_, )'-.__)'-._)
i send over a
----------
bear to u, so
that u can hug it
when u r
sleep
----------
tite, sweet
dreams

------------------------------------------------------

Jika ada kamera


kan ku tangkap setiap gambarmu


senyumanmu..


wajahmu..


kan ku tampal...


di setiap...



botol budu dan jeruk petai..
supaya mudah laku...
hahahaha

------------------------------------------------------


slow-slow
baringkan
dier kt
tilam
----------
slow2
lurutkan
seluarnye

----------
slow2
kangkangkn
kakinya

----------
slow2
cium
pipinya

----------
dgn
lembut
bisikkan..

----------




----------
"Baby,
masa
utk tukar
pampers.."

------------------------------------------------------



segalanya
ttg awk,

----------

SEMPURNA


----------

BIBIR awk,


----------

KULIT awk,


----------

MATA awk,


----------

BDN awk,


----------

awk brtuah
dilahirkan
comel
----------

bukan
macam sy

----------

PENIPU
BESAR

------------------------------------------------------

Jika kamu
MARAH..keluarkan
KEMARAHANMU, jika
kamu

SEDIH..keluarkan
KESEDIHANMU..

TAPI INGAT!!

jika kamu

MALU..

jgn keluarkan
KEMALUANmu..heheh

------------------------------------------------------

menurut kajian yang dibuat:











99% org yg SYG kat sy



adalah mereka yg slalu





menekan butang handpone
dengan 'IBU JARI'...


HAa..jgn nak tukar jari!!!

------------------------------------------------------

ACCOUNT NOTICE:

your PAHALA balance is not sufficient to maintain your AKHIRAT account please topup your AMALAN to reload your SYURGA credit line. Thank you.

------------------------------------------------------

Gathered in a large hall,
an angel asked us 2 write down our sins b4 goin 2 heaven,
b4 i could start writing mine, i heard u shouting
"extra paper plz"..huah3x..

------------------------------------------------------

Bila keseorangan...
ku teringat
dirimu..
bila terlena...
ku terbayang
wajahmu..
bila kesepian...
ku dengar
suaramu..
bila ku fikir..
baru ku tahu,
yg diri ku
merindui mu... .

------------------------------------------------------

sebanyak mana awak
'RINDU' saya
lebih banyak saya
'MERINDUI' awak
tapi sebanyak mana awak
'MELUPAKAN' saya
tak sedikit pun saya
MELUPAKAN' awak

------------------------------------------------------

--------------------
wak2 nk sms
awk, hati sy
jadi x mnentu
xtw npe.
--------------------
akhirnya,
sy menyedari
bahawa...
sy..
--------------------

sayang


--------------------

sangat


--------------------

pada


--------------------




--------------------

kredit sy..
he3x..

--------------------

------------------------------------------------------

SENYUM pd org tua tnda syg. SENYUM pd knk2 tnda kasih. SENYUM pd kekasih tnda cinta. SENYUM depan henpon tnda gila. masih SENYUM lagi?? memang sah GILA.. =P

------------------------------------------------------

--------------------
i
suka
kt u

--------------------
i
trpikat
sgt bila
u snym
--------------------
rsanya,
i dah
jth hati
kt u la
--------------------
i dah
bincang
dgn
mother i
--------------------
dia
dah
stuju
dah
--------------------

u cmne?


--------------------
stuju x
jd owg
gaji
kami.?
--------------------

------------------------------------------------------

--------------------
bila
sy
tengok
mntari
----------
sy
trnmpak
awak

--------------------
bila
sy
pndg
bulan
--------------------
sy
nmpk
awak

--------------------
bila
sy
pndg
lautan
--------------------
awak lg.?
mnyibok
tolla. tepi
la ckit
--------------------

------------------------------------------------------

--------------------
1
2
3
4
--------------------
5
6
7
8
--------------------
9
10
11
12
--------------------
13
14
15
16
--------------------
17
18
19
..
--------------------
isk rasa mcm xcukup je kambing aku ni. ewah ewah.. bc sms rupenye, woi.!! balik..!!!
_________________

Doakn aku.. smlm aku p medical check up kt hsptl pakar, aku kena pnyakit..


VERYCUTELIST.. pnyakit makin CUTE. jgn risau xb'jangkit, cuma xleh sembuh. ha3x.

Guru: apa bende kalo mulut b'temu mulut? Tgn pegang btg? Jari raba lubang?

Murid: Org b'rOmen cikgu!

Guru: kpala hotak kau!! Salah!! Org MAIN SERULING lah..!!

????????????????????????????????

Judge: Why did u hit ur husband with a chair?

Wife: I couldn't lift the table

????????????????????????????????

LOLIPOP b'kata kpd COKLAT, "Kita ni snggh manis kan?"
COKLAT jawab, "Awk igt kita ni dah ckup manis ke? Awk tgk org yg bace sms nie lg manis. Tgk 2, die senyum.. manisnyer ..

????????????????????????????????

Alow kwn. Mau krdit
PERCUMA x?
jmpa sy la.
apndai main

hp? Xpa.
blh jmpa sy.
kursus kita
ada, krdit p'Cuma

kita pn ada.
RM5? RM10?****
sy bg.
RM50?

sy pn bg oo..
INGAT!
kmi bkn ALONG
kami Cuma nk

KELENTONG..=p

????????????????????????????????

anak ikan anak biawak,
sy suka awak.
sungai penuh ikan puyu,
i love u..

lepak sungai tangkap katak,
awak rindu sy x?
Main lumpur tepi paya,
awak syg saya?

lepak makan mee,
U miss me?
Hari jadi sambut sakan,
Awak syg sy kan?

Main pasir baling batu,
Nape senyum tu?
Saya suka makan pulasan,
Harap awk x perasan..haha

????????????????????????????????

Ni la CINTA. ada
seorg gadis
buta, semua org
bencikn dia, kecuali

kekasihnya, gadis
tu slalu b'kata
saya akn mnghwini
awk klu saya boleh

melihat. 1 hari ada
org drmakan mata
kpd gadis 2, bila
gadis 2 bleh

melihat, dia merasa
sgt t'kejut apabila
kekasihnya juga
buta. kekasihnya

b'kata sudikh awk
menghwini saya
skarang? gadis tu
menolak. kekasihnya

senyum dan pergi
sambil bkata TLG
JAGA MATA SAYA
BAIK2..sbarkn msg

ni kpd sesiapa yg
fham erti CINTA..

????????????????????????????????

(0)0) katak ni
( .__) ckp awk
> <> <><(((:>




Ni pun ikan..
><(((:>




Ni ikan jugak...
><(((:>




eh ikan lagi..
><(((:>







ikan jela...
mana ada msg..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

den ado satu nk
tunjuk kt ekau...
















































"1"




ok dah...
esok den tunjuk nombo duo plak

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Important test!
R u male or female?
To know d answer,
look down..














































































































i said look down..
not scroll down...

TAWARAN KERJA :
Minat dalam bidang PERTAHANAN.
Membantu skuad benteng negara dalam membenteras jenayah.

SYARAT :
1. Sihat tubuh badan
2. Tidak rabun warna

KELEBIHAN :
1. Under goverment
2. Basic RM 1800
3. Elaun bulanan RM 300
4. Uniform RM 150
5. Kursus pertahanan diri secara percuma

Temuduga terbuka pada 34 JUN 2008

JAWATAN :

1. Power Ranger
2. Kamen Rider
3. Ultraman
4. Sailormoon ( Untuk wanita sahaja )

Anda berminat?

jangan jadi macam saya~

kisah benar!!

Ingin aku ceritakan sedikit tentang kisah hidup aku.
Aku dilahirkan didalam sebuah keluarga yang sederhana. Kedua ibubapa ku ialah guru...

Alhamdulillah. .aku dianugerahkan oleh Allah akal yang cerdik. Dalam usia 18 tahun aku telah mendapat biasiswa untuk melanjutkan pelajaran ke luar negara iaitu di negara matahari terbit, Jepun. Aku mengambil jurusan Kejuruteraan. ..dalam masa beberapa tahun disana aku fasih bertutur dalam bahasa Jepun.

Selepas bertungkus- lumus hampir 5 tahun akhirnya aku berjaya mendapat
segulung Ijazah. Aku tidak terus balik ke tanah air..sebaliknya aku mengambil keputusan untuk terus menetap disini dan bekerja untuk mengambil sedikit pengalaman. Dalam usia semuda 23 tahun aku bekerja sebagai Eksekutif di sebuah firma terkemuka Jepun.


Aku cepat menyerap segala ilmu yang dipelajari semasa bekerja disini. 3 tahun lebih bekerja akhirnya aku mendapat kepercayaan pihak pengurusan dan dinaikkan pangkat dari Eksekutif ke penolong pengurus dan seterusnya menjadi Pengurus termuda didalam Firma tersebut. Hampir 6 tahun bekerja disana akhirnya aku diarahkan oleh majikan aku untuk pulang ke Malaysia.

Mereka telah melakukan pelaburan di Malaysiadan telah membuka sebuah Firma baru disini dan akulah orang yang paling layak untuk mengendalikan firma mereka disini. Alahamdulillah. ..aku dilantik sebagai Pengarah Urusan.

Aku bekerja siang dan malam...bertungkus lumus...dunia aku hanyalah di pejabat.Sekarang aku mempunyai 3 orang cahayamata anugerah tak ternilai dari Allah SWT.


Tahun demi tahun aku semakin sibuk dengan urusan kerja. Firma yang aku kendalikan telah bertambah maju dan akhirya disenaraikan di papan kedua bursa saham Kuala Lumpur. Tidak sampai 7 tahun beroperasi sekali lagi kami telah disenaraikan ke papan utama BSKL. Hasil penat lelah selama ini ahkirnya berbaloi.... aku dilantik sebagai CEO tempatan pertama di firma ini dengan bergaji sebanyak RM38 ribu bersih sebulan beserta 3 buah kereta mewah... Syukur Alhamdulillah.

Dalam usia 46 tahun sebagai CEO....aku mula terasa kehilangan sesuatu!!!!!

Kebahagian keluarga.... .
Kesibukan aku menyebabkan aku serahkan segala tugas sebagai seorang ayah kepada isteriku... Hubungan aku bersama keluarga renggang. Anak-anak aku tak terurus...yang sulung dah tak macam orang...rambut warna merah... bertindik di hidung. Apabila tiba waktu makan malam sudah tidak bersama lagi.

Segalanya kucar kacir. Pelajaran mereka pun entah kemana... Aku terlalu sibuk di pejabat. Meeting sanasini. Lunch pun nak meeting....main golf pun bincang pasal kerja....dinner pun meeting lagi!!!!...sampai tiada masa untuk bersolat!!

Setiap pagi aku kena periksa segala lapuran-lapuran eksekutif aku...sebelah petang kena buat report pada Board of Directors. Sembahyang 5 waktu aku tunggang terbalik.... kekadang buat
..kekadang terlupa... masyaallah !!!! Setiap hari ada temujanji bersama client aku dari Jepun.

Aku mungkin kaya...tetapi jiwa aku kosong...kadang kala jiwa aku tertekan!!!

Bila aku pulang ke rumah lewat malam aku bersolat.... aku menangis...aku memohon doa kepada Allah semoga diberikan ketenangan jiwa. Semoga keluarga ku bersatu kembali.

Selang seminggu aku bernekad...! !!! Aku telah meletakkan jawatan ku sebagai CEO.

Aku tinggalkan gaji aku sebanyak RM38K sebulan dan aku pulangkan kesemua kereta-kereta mewahku pada syarikat. Keluarga ku terkejut. Isteriku menangis.... tetapi bukan menangis marahkan aku meninggalkan jawatan sebagai CEO...tetapi menangis kerana gembira...mereka
gembira akhirnya aku kembali kepada mereka..!!!

Aku beritahu mereka aku ingin berniaga sendiri. Buka gerai jual Kuew Teow Goreng..!!!!

Aku diketawakan oleh mereka....tak apa aku akan buktikan yang bekas CEO akan lebih berjaya dengan berniaga kuew teow goreng !!!!

Dengan sedikit pengalaman sebagai tukang masak (tukang masak tak bertauliah) semasa belajar di Jepun dan sedikit duit simpanan aku memulakan perniagaan pertama aku di sekitar
Ampang...bersebelah an dengan Citroen Showroom. Aku dibantu oleh anak sulung aku.

Hari pertama berniaga aku mendapat untung RM170.00 sehari. Berniaga dari jam 4 petang hingga 10 malam. Hari Kedua dapat RM 120.00 sehari. Hari ketiga dapat RM220.00 sehari....alhamdulillah. Dan hari-hari seterusnya lebih kurang RM380.00. sehari.

Anggaran kasar pendapatan aku sebulan lebih kurang RM9,880.00 untuk satu gerai. Perniagaan aku bertambah maju dalam 8 bulan aku membuka satu lagi gerai di Cheras.....dari 2 gerai aku membuka 3..dan seterusnya sehingga sekarang aku memiliki 6 gerai makanan. Pendapatan bersih dari 6 gerai tadi aku memperolehi rezeki dari Allah dalam RM60, 000.00
SEBULAN. Bayangkan pendapatan seorang CEO RM38K sebulan dan pendapatan dari berniaga Kuew Teow sebulan RM60K. Kini aku bersenang lenang bersama-sama keluarga ku. Setiap bulan kami bercuti bersama.

Kini aku telah dapat kembali keluarga ku yang 'hilang'. Anak- anak aku memang malas nak meneruskan pelajaran mereka. Jadi aku latih mereka berniaga. Merekalah sekarang yang menjalan perniagaan tersebut. Aku cuma memantau...atau lebih kurang jadi 'chairman'....dan anak-anak aku sebagai Directornya.

Sekali-sekali aku melihat jam di tangan. Oh, baru pukul 2.30.. lambat lagi nak balik.Cepat la sikit pukul 5.00. ..bolehla aku berangan lagi...Beginilah kehidupan aku seorang kerani kerajaan...